


Sometimes Alcohol is the solution (or at least... the reason you can sleep)

by MarvelIsOurDestination



Category: Daredevil (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Luke Cage (TV), The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-08
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-10 15:43:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12302334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarvelIsOurDestination/pseuds/MarvelIsOurDestination
Summary: Time flys, sometimes an hour feels never ending and  then there are weeks, which you have the feeling , you've missed everything...Jessica trys to keep her life going on, after what happened in Midland Circle, which actually means, she tried to avoid thinking of it, drinking a lots of alcohol and working as a PI again... but then something strange happened. Could it be, Matt Murdock is still alive... oh yes, fairytales like this will definitely happened *rolles eyes*





	1. Chapter 1 - Time flys

Time flys, sometimes an hour feels never ending and then there are weeks, which you have the feeling , you've missed everything...

This is how Jessica felt. It was almost four weeks after what happened in Midland Circle. Four weeks, where happened so much things. She started to work as a PI again. A big step for her after what happened the last times. 

She woke up by someone knocking on her door. Her first sight went on her mobile. 9 a.m. It was a way to early. At least for her. Again someone knocked.  
"One moment.", she called right to the door.  
She rolled out of the bed. The light outside was a way to bright and her legs a way to heavy. She grabbed her clothes and put them on before opening the door.  
"Yes?" she asked hung - over.  
"Good morning.", a man in work clothes said. His breath smelled like coffee and cigarettes. He had a clipboared in his hands. "Jessica Jones?", he asked.  
"Who wants to know this?", she replied.  
"We are here to renovate your flat."  
She raised her eyebrows. "I've called nobody. This must be a mistake."  
"You are Jessica Jones right?"  
"Yes I am, but..."  
"Then this is no mistake.", he said and gave his co-workers a sign and entered her flat.  
Jessica was to confused and to hung- over to act. "Who the hell called you?", she asked again.  
"Trish Walker.", he said, when he began to do his work.  
She rolled her eyes, took her jacket and left the flat. 

She needed to visit someone right now. 

* * *

 "You can't just do this Trish!"  
Trish Walker collected her things, while she got this telling off by her sister and best friend. "Listen Jess, you needed this and I know you would never have done this on your own."  
Jessica couldn't reply, which happened not very often. "I have no money to pay them."  
"But I do.", Jessica took a deep breath but before she could say anything Trish started again. "This is a present, just take it. I know it is not easy for you, but trust me, its ok to just be thankful and don't talk about it again."  
In addition Jessica rolled her eyes. "I need a coffee.", she just said and turned around.  
"Perfect.", Trish answered, grabbed her things and followed Jessica outside. 

"So what are your plans today?", Trish asked her.  
Jessica was about filling some whiskey in her coffee. "I have to do some research for my client.", she said and took a sip.  
"How about meeting for dinner?", her sister asked her. Of course she asked her that. After what happened Trish act like Jessica was a child, who needs protection. Or someone, who cried herself to sleep and need some activities, to get away from it. But this wasn't Jessicas way of life. She didn't cried... not that much as least. She just continued life...somehow. Instead of insisting Jessica just nodded. It would be to much at this morning, if she would argue with her sister right now. "I'll write you then.", she said when they arrived at Trishes car. Perfect, she noticed that parking in the no parking zone wasn't an good idea.  
"Perfect, I'll wait for it.", she responded and smiled all over her face.  
This was a way too much joy for Jessica. "Ok...then.", she said and was about turning the way.   
"Jess, will you go there today?", this question make her stomach burn, and it was definitely the question and not the whiskey in her coffee.  
"Maybe..", she said, after she stopped.  
"You have to. You have to say goodbye.",  
"Yeah.", she said and walked away. Trish was right, Jessica knew that, but going there, and admitted what she was already know...who the hell would help that? But actually she really had to do it. Almost four weeks... time flys... and this time Jessica Jones couldn't walk away.

* * *

 

Jessica just returned from her morning walk, when the workers in her flat where about to break her wall. There was stimm this big whole of the fight with Simpson. Jessica knew she could not work right here, so she just took her laptop and put it in her messager bag. "How long do you think you will need to fix this?", she asked the man with the clipboard. "This is more work than we thought so...till friday we should be done." Jessica rolled her eyes..."Perfect.", she mumbled and left her flat. She entered the elevator when her mobile was about to rang. It was Luke...this was a strange morning. First the workers, who were about to fix her flat...then the morning walk and now Luke was calling. 

"Yes?", she hang up.

 _"Hey Jess. I need to see you."_ , Luke Cage was Jessicas weak point. After all what happened, after all what Jessica have done... but she still had a thing for him. She tried to fight against it, but once in her life she had not enough strength. And after they haven't seen each other for months and now...now they were friends? How the hell should that work?

"Uhm yes sure.", she answered.

 _"Now?",_ he asked.

"Ok, where do we want to meet? Harlem?"

" _No...I will send you my position.",_ she nodded, even she knew nobody could see. 

"Fine, see u.", she answered. In that moment the elevator doors opened. She put her mobile in her pocket, waiting for the message.

-

"Jersey?! Seriously?!", she said after she got Lukes message. Why the hell did he want to meet in Jersey. She wanted to write him in the second, while he got her first. " _Hurry up.",_ she knew it was important when he was writing like this. She took the next Taxi to drive to the station. This was really strange. Why did he want to meet in Jersey?! What was he up to? It was up to Jessica to find out.

-

One hour later she arrived at the meeting point. Luke was waiting for her. 

"Hey..", she greated him. 

"Thank you for your coming.", he answered. 

"Did I have a choice?", she said in a sarcastic tone. 

"You've always have a choice Jessica." She sighed. "So, what are we doing here?"

He put his hands out of his pockets. "I have the reason to believe that...", he made a pause, "that Matt isn't dead." Jessica needed some seconds to understand what Luke just said. "Luke, we saw the building crashing down.", she shook her head. "He did not come of there. He is dead."  
"I also thought that.", he crossed his arms. "Misty found out that there was just one dead body in the whole, female one."

"His creepy ex - girlfriend?" "That is the strange thing about it. No. It was this old lady, who fought against us. Danny told me her name was Madame Gao."

"So they haven't found Matt and the Ninjagirl and that's why you think he is still alive?", she raised her eyebrows and crossed his armes as well. 

"No thats just a proof of my theory. I think this because of this.", he gave her a small note. She unfold the note and read it. Big letters were written down.

"And you believe this?", she asked and looked up at him. "First not, but then I did some research, about people, who get medical help illegally. There were a lot of shooting victims, but also two, one male, one female.", she listened to what he was saying, she got every word, but this couldn't be real. In a world full of superhuman creatures, like she was and Luke were also...a man with a glowing fist...ninja turtels... it could not be true, that a man, who was under a whole building which crashed down, could still be alive. Matt Murdock died. He died when he saved his city. He saved everyone, Danny, Luke, Claire, Coleen, Misty and even her, and sacrificed himself. With him the devil of Hell's Kitchen also died. And now all of this should be a big bad joke?!

"And why are we here?"

"My research brought me here." For the first time she looked closer at the building. A big white house with small windows and big iron doors. Above at the hall was a wooden crucifix. "A monastery?", she asked. "Suites him, don't you think?", he said.

All of this was very strange. Why did she even stand up this morning?! Standing up at 9 a.m. was an really bad idea. She should have known that everything, which will happen today, would be bad. But no...now she was here. Standing in front of a monastery with Luke Cage, who was thinking that Matthew Murdock was still alive, because he got a handwritten note...

 

HE IS STILL ALIVE. 

 

Really bad joke...


	2. How to get away with Murdock

Jessica opened the door, actually a woman with her figure and weight should not do this so easily, but thanks to her superhuman strength she had no problems open the steal door. Light flew into the dark room behind, dark except of some candles.   
"Jesus...", she said, it was more a breath with a noise than a spoken word.   
Luke laughed. "Be careful Jess - that could be mentioned as blasphemy."   
She rolled her eyes, while she have looked back at him. "So do you want to pray for him to come back or what?"   
"Not we are the prayers.", Luke answered and walked further to a wooden door at the end of the room. Jessica had no idea what he was up to and she didn't like not being into the issue.  
"What do you exactly think we will find here?", she asked him again. It was the only way and option for her to get more information about his plan. Her head was a mess by now...more than normal. She was not fine with the feeling of not knowing what to do next and she still could not believe this all could be true. Matt Murdock still breathing somewhere here in the monastery. People does not just return from the death. At least thats her view of life. Maybe they forced people to fix their wounds, but they do not return from death. When she fought against the Hand she had to learn that could be... Ex - girlfriends stay up again and fucking up everything. But hell. A fucking building crashed down on him. But hey...Jesus did return from death as well and if there was a person, who was religious enough to follow this, it would be Matt Murdock. She raised her eyebrows, because she was still looking for an answer and it took seconds for Luke to answer... no good sign to be honest.  
"I have no idea."   
"That sounds like a plan.", she said sarcastically, that was her way to deal with situations, she wasn't comfortable with. A lot of sarcasmn and alcohol. He smirked, well was this the right moment for making jokes? They were about cracking into a monastery. To do what? Trying to find out, if a actually dead laywer isn't that dead?   
"You know, if he is here, he won't be very happy about what we are doing. And what is if he like staying here. Finding to god or whatever?"  
Yes this was the big question, which was in the room.  
"Well the best way to find this out would be asking him."  
That sounded so easy, so ridiculous.This morning she would have said, if you really would have talk with a dead person, do a seance. She shook her head. Did she already mentioned that this was insane?!

So there was just way to find out, going through the next door. Maybe this would be the solution, or just a couple of more questions, which needed to be answered. She took a deep breath, before she opened the wooden door in front of her, Luke was following her inside. Inside of what? They step into a big beautiful garden. A big well was in the middle of it. It was made of white marble and corymb roses where sourrounded by it. If you ever imagine a monastery, this would it be. She was just staying there , looking at all this beautiful roses. She was never a woman who feel joy about this, flowers and of this shit, she was rather the pragmatic type of woman. But she really had to admit, if Matt was really here, he'll have a fucking beautiful place to stay. She was about moving on, while she had heard a female voice behind them. "Can I help you?"

She turned around and a white woman in the middle age stood in front her. She wore a typical nun gown. Jessica couldn't see much of her, just her face, the first thing she got were the eyes, it was like with one glance she could directly look into her soul. Jessica wanted to answer, but Luke got her first.   
"Excuse us Ma'me. We are looking for someone.", he just said.   
Was he serious?! Was this his interpretation of being quite on a mission. Ok...on the other hand. What should they do?! So she just signed and watched her reaction. "Well visitors usually rang the doorbells and usually they have to signing on." Jessica always thought nuns would be kind people, but the way she way talking to them wasn't that nice. She tried to get more about her. If there was someone who could read people perfectly, it was Jessica Jones. She seemed to be the leader of this monastery, a self confident woman, who knew what she wanted, and she didn't want Luke and Jessica to be here...that was clear.   
"Well then, I apologize, I didn't knew. Maybe you could help me anyway.", Luke tried to safe the situation.   
"I am sorry, but I can not do any exception.", she just answered. The way she act give rise to suspicion, that she was keeping something.   
"We do not make any problems, we are just here to get an information. You could give us the answer and then we leave.", Jessica said now. The nun sighed.   
"Fine, please follow me to my office. By the way, my name is Sister Maggy. Can I have your names?"   
"Sure, I am Luke Cage and this is..."   
"Jessica Jones.", Jessica added.   
"Ms Jones, Mr Cage. Please follow me.", she said and showed them the way to her office. It was a long hall the entered, old and quite dark. It seemed never ending when they passed it. Doors were on each side, probably the rooms of the other nuns. After some minutes they arrived to one door, which did not look any different to the others. She opened it. The first thing Jessica saw, was a big wooden desk in the middle of the room. At the left side of it where a big bookshelf with a lot of old books, on the other side were the same shelf but it was filled with a lot of files. Sister Maggy stepped and offered them the chairs in front of the desk, while she went behind it. Luke was the first who sat down, Jessica followed, after she took an overview of the room.  
"So, how could I help you, who do you looking for?", she asked, now in a nicer way than before.  
"A man", Luke starts, "A blind man, who has propably a lot of wounds.", he continued.   
"A blind man? In a monastery full of nuns?", she questioned. Jessica was sure she was lying. Something of her made her believe she was lying... but should this mean? He was here?   
"I did a research and it ended up here. His name is Matthew Murdock."   
The nun shook her head. "I am sorry Mr. Cage but I really have to admit, I have no idea what you are talking about. We are a small monastery. Only 15 nuns do live here. Noone else.", she made clear.   
"Excuse me, could I need to use a toilet."; Jessica said suddendly, when she noticed that this conversation would not bring them more information they need. Sister Maggy looked at her.   
"Of course, its just on the left side, when you down the hallway.", she discribed the way to it.  
"Thanks.", Jessica said in her typical cold tone. She stood up and walked to the door again, she looked up, while a crucifix was just starring at her.   
"Everything ok?", Sister Maggy asked.  
"Sure...", she said and opened the door. "Sure."

* * *

 

Jessica closed the door behind her. She had not much time to find what she was looking for. Sadly she hadn't the powers, Matt had... have... whatever. She needed to find hints if he would be here, or not. Just opening every door wouldn't the most clever idea...but she had no other one. Suddendly she heard some woman talk, who were at the end of the hallway. She rushed down to a corner next to it and tried to notic what they were talking about.   
"I still don't know what he doing here. He could bring us all in danger. And Sister Maggy is just watching."   
"Alice, this is what we have to do. It is our destination."  
"Our destination is to serve god..."  
"And all of his children." For a moment there were silence.  
"Fine. Could you bring him some water, I will look for some food."  
"Sure.", the second one said and Jessica heard her disappear. So Alice...or whatever does. Now Jessica could left her hiding place. Could that be true? Was this  _him_ ? Jessica had to find out. She walked over to where the voices came from. Another door. But this one seemed different to the others. There were a medical sign above it. Maybe the pacient room. She took a deep breath before she opened it slowly. Behind it was a bright room with a lot of beds in it. All were empty, besides one.

"Hello? Sister Maria?", he asked...  _HE_ asked. Jessica closed the door.  
"Come on Murdock. You know its me.", she said. She still couldn't believe he was just laying in front of her. She walked over to him.   
"Jessica?", he said suprisly.  
"Yeah?"; she asked. Was he just pretending or was he really suprised that she was standing in the room.   
"I am sorry, my senses aren't all as good as they used to be. I... I seemed to need time to recover.", he tried to explain.  
"Oh sure you do. You died.", she said and crossed he armes. Was he serious? It was like they spend a normal conversation and not  _this_ conversation. Not the - oh you just returned from death - conversation. He raised his anger when a smirk appeared on his lips.  
"Jessica Jones - always telling what she is thinking.", he said.  
"Are you kidding me?", she asked and walked now over to his bed. "You are still alive and you do not dare to say this to us?! And even if we are not so close to you, there are people, who cried over your death. Claire, the blond girl and the other lawyer, didn't you think of them, when you do... this?!" , she said upset. The smirk disappeared, instead his typical serious face impression appeared.  
"Even if I want to this, I could not. This is a strict monastery. No one can come in, and nobody can left. Actually.", he said.   
"Even if you want ?! God Murdock, you are such an asshole.", she said and turned around. She was about leaving, he did his decision, and she did not want to get Luke involved in something useless.   
"Jessica.. I am sorry.", that's what made her stop. She took a deep breath to calm herself down a bit. "I...I am not the same person.", he said.  
"You really look close.", she said and turned around again. He shook his head.   
"I can not left to my old life. Like you said. I died. Matt Murdock died.", he said.   
"Obviously not.", she said with a gesture. "You look pretty alive. A bit demaged. But alive."This made him laugh again. What was this actually, that every man around her laughed about what she was saying. She rolled her eyes.  
"Pretty much yes.", he continued. "I can not hear as good as I used to. I can not smell as good as I used to. My bones are crashed. And... and I can't remember everything what happened in Midland Circle."  
"Lucky one.", she said and crossed her armes. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. "Look, you died. We thought we had loose you."   
"We?", he asked.   
"So you too?"  
"Yeah?!", she made clear. What does this even mean...why did he even asked. Sure, Jessica could be a bitch, but she wasn't cold as a stone. "But instead you are laying here, drawning in self-pity or what? You have bones crashed? You can not smell like a dog anymore? Wow.", she was upset again.   
"I...I recover. But this needs time." She just wanted to say something, but then suddendly the door opened.   
"Who are you?!", the woman - Alice - said very nervous.   
"Sister Alice its ok.", Matt tried to fix this.  
"Sister Maggy!", she shouted instead. Jessica rolled her eyes. Drama... again. She really had not stand up this morning. Why the hell did she do it?! 

Some seconds later Sister Maggy entered the room, Luke following her.   
"Matt!", he said suprised and much more happy about this fact than Jessica did.   
"Why did you lie at us?", Jessica asked very serious. Now the mask of Sister Maggy fell down. She was now worried and somehow scared.   
"Because...", she started a sentences, "because she told me to.", "Who?!", Jessica asked.   
"Elektra.", Matt answered.

* * *

 

"So your ex is still alive too? Wonderful.", Jessica sighed.   
"Yes...she is and..."   
"She told me to take care of him. Help him to recover.", Maggy answered instead of Matt.   
"And she came to you?", Luke wanted to know.   
"She said that's what Matthew want."   
Jessica looked over to him. "You are with her. That's why you do not want to come back to us."   
He shook his head. "Like I said, I can not remember what happened in Midland Circle. I just woke up here some weeks ago. I... Sister Maggy told me of Elektra, and what must be happened...the building. First I was worried about you all, but she told me, you were ok. I have never seen Elektra again.", he explained.   
"That's right. Miss Natchios didn't appeared since that day again.", Sister Maggy explained.   
Jessica shook her head. "You will come with us Murdock.", she said and walked over to his bed.   
"No!", Sister Maggy said now, she almost cried. "If he will disappear, she promised, she will kill all of us.", Jessica looked up to Luke, both were tensed.   
That was the reason Matt didn't showed up. He was still playing the hero.  
"Then we have to do something against this.", Luke said determinded. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's chapter two. Please let me know what you think about it. Ah and yes, the chapters name is a reference to "How to get away with murderer" a great show by the way :D


	3. I have no home

"Wait, wait...wait.", Danny said totally confused. "Are you really sure?"   
"Yeah pretty much." Jessica said sarcastically. After what she and Luke found out, they've called Danny to inform him. It was somehow ridiculous call him and tell him, that Matt was still alive. Actually she had avoid this call, but Luke was right to tell him. Least because Danny has the opportunities to help. Now Danny was quiet, something which didn't very often. Point for Matt.   
"We need your help.", Luke said and Danny broke the silence.   
"Sure, what can I do."  
"We need protection for the people here. Elektra is still alive and she could bring them all in danger."  
"She seems like a fake penny. Always appearing again.", Jessica said.   
"Right, let me guess. I should pay some people for it."   
"That was our idea, yes.", Jessica said honestly.   
"Fine, I will take care of it. But do me a favor.",  
"Yes?", Luke asked.  
"Bring Matt out of there.",  
Luke smirked. "Sure, that was the plan."   
"This is still so freaky, you guys know?",he was saying what Jessica was thinking the whole time, she was looking at Matt. All what happened, all the feelings she had, the guilt, the sadness...everything were nonsense.   
"Yeah, tell him.", she said,   
"We will see you Danny.", Luke ended the call and hang up.   
"So Murdock, get dressed. We have to leave this place.", Jessica said and threw his clothes to him, which were laying at the end of the bed.   
"Could I may have a bit more privacy?", he raised one eyebrow. It was strange, he looked all the same, but somehow different. His glaze was empty as it used to be, but somehow even more. For once he seemed really blind. She sighed and took Lukes arm, to show him to leave with her, he nodded and they left the room, together with Sister Maggy, who closed the door behind them.   
"Please take good care of Matthew. He have done so much. He saved all of us and even if he doesn't seemed so.. he is broken.", she said before she left down the hallway.  
"He told me his senses aren't as good as they used to be.", she whispered to Luke. "And I think its true. I've never seen him this blind." For somebody, who weren't in the awarness of his powers, was this statement surely crazy, but Luke seemed to think the same. He just nodded.  
"Jessica, I am very thankful you are here.", she looked up to him into his dark eyes. She wasn't that close to him for months. She had no idea what to say, but she didn't want to seem like a fool.  
"Isn't that what I have to do...as a friend?", she asked. A bright smile appeared on his lips.  
"You for yourself told me that it was insane believing that he could still be alive and even with your doubt, you didn't walked away. You stayed."  
"Because I trust you."  
There were something between them. A tense which were rising since they met again. She wasn't comfortable with this and so she was really glad the door opened in this moment and Matt stepped out at the corridor.  
"Almost the old one.", Luke said.  
"Do you guys have my blindman's stick?"   
"We didn't even know you were alive, so...no."   
"I need your help then.", he said and took Jessicas arm. She hold for a moment. The last time he did this were at the police department, when they left to Midland Circle. She walked in a lower speed, so he could follow.   
"How does your senses are by now actually?", Luke asked, while they've walked down the hall.   
"When I woke up everything was dark for the first time. I hardly could hear anything. All I felt was a terrible pain. By now I can hear better, but still not as good as I used to."   
"But it will come back?"  
"I am not sure about this.", Matt made clear. They entered the garden. He took a deep breath. Yes it was better than some days ago. He could smell a lot of different kind of roses and water.He could smell the chlorine.  
"It gets better.", he add. 

* * *

 

"Where are we exactly?", he asked when they were outside of the monastery.  
"New Jersey.", Jessica mumbled. A smirk appeared on his lips.  
"I think we all would rather be in New York right now.",  
She rolled her eyes. "You got it." Luke just laughed and walked over to his van. "Then lets go."   
About an hour later they finally arrived at Matts old flat. Okay, just to be honest it was still his. Danny took the rent for the last couple of months. Nobody exactly knew why he did this. Maybe he for himself did not know. But it was a save feeling having something last, even when they thought, he passed away. Lucky one, Jessica thought. 

Being in his old place again, Matt recognized he felt more. Somehow it was like a medicine. He felt the vibration of the city. This was where he did belong to. It wasn't like it used to be, but better than in the monastery. He smelled the typical scents of New York - his city. It felt so familiar. He walked slower than before, he still need to be recovered, like he mentioned before. His ribs weren't all healed already, and his leg still hurts, but he was stubborn enough to walk the last steps alone. When they entered the flat, everything was still same... maybe a bit more tidy. He took a deep breath. He smelled the wood of his furnitures, the coffee, which stood in the second shelf in the kitchen, right above the sugar and the flour. A smile appeared on his lips.   
"It will get better.", he said. He remembered the position of his stuff, so he walked over to his couch.   
"I finally could use a drink.", Jessica mentioned.   
"Right over there.", Matt tried to show her. She was a bit sceptical, but she followed his gesture and he was right. A bottle full of Macallan. Jackpot.   
"You guys want something as well?", she asked. Matt tried to demit, but Luke nodded, he could feel it...he felt it. For the first time in weeks he could feel actions.  
"Ok, yeah, I think I could use one." So Jessica took three glasses and filled them with the scotch. She walked over to the couch, where Luke and Matt sat and gave them their glasses.   
"So to what do we trink?", Luke asked.   
"I actually do not need a reason."; Jessica made clear. Matt smirked.  
"How about coming home?", he suggest.   
"Yeah that sounds good.", Luke responeded. All clink their glasses. The men took just a sip, while Jessica drank down the whole glass. It was no suprise, so nobody did say something.   
"I am glad to be here again.", Matt broke the silence, while Jessica have filled her empty glass again.   
"We are glad to have you back.", Luke answered.   
"This is still strange you guys know? Sitting here, drinking with you, especially _you_.", she mentioned to Matt and emptied the second glass. Suddendly Lukes mobiled rang, he looked at the display.  
"It's Claire.", he said. Jessica felt something inside of her. She could not really name what it was. Maybe something like jealousy? But this was silly. Jessica never was jealous. She was pissed off, or broken...but not jealous. But could it be, she was, because she wanted to be the woman next to him? No, she had lost this chance even before she met him. She k...   
"I have to tell her.", Luke interrupted her thoughts.  
"I...", Matt tried to start a sentences, "I want to tell her by myself.", he finished it. Luke nodded.   
"Ok. I will tell her, she should come over.", he said and stood up. He walked into Matts bedroom to do the call. 

  
"Jessica?"; Matt asked for her attention. She looked at him. "I can hear your heartbeat.", he suddendly said. She raised one eyebrow.   
"I thought that was all gone."  
"It was.", he said, "but since we are here, it somehow...my senses rise again. First it was my smell...then I could feel when you both did something... and now...I can hear it again."   
 _Embarrassing._ Does this mean he could hear something, when she was thinking about Luke? Did her heartbeat raise, when she thought of him? And if he knew, was this the point he mentioned it?   
"Well...good to hear.", she said and emptied the glass in front of her to the half.   
"Thank you.", he said.  
"Why do everybody thank me today. I am just there.", she said.  
"And thats why I am thankful. You both didn't give up on me."  
"You have to thank Luke. Not me. I really thought you were dead.", she said and starred at the glass.   
"But you are still here.", he said. She looked over to him. "Yeah..", she didn't know what to say.   
"Okay, Claire will arrive in half an hour.", Luke came back. Jessica was glad, that he returned. She wasn't very good in doing conversation, especially when it was a conversation like this.   
"This seems like a big 'Welcome back' party.", she sighed.   
"Hey Jess, if you do not want to stay, you can go home.", Matt tried to comfort her. He knew this wasn't the things she liked. The emotions, the conversations.   
"I have no home.", she just answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry peeps I did not upload a new chapter for almost two weeks, but I was so busy with reallife. But now I am back.


	4. It's all about emotions

"What does this mean, you have no home?", Luke asked and raised one eyebrow.   
_Ok, maybe this was a bit too dramatic_ , the way she said it and even what she said. She rather just mean, there were workers in her place, who made her crazy with all the noises they are made. When she is at home, she just wanted to be by herself. Being her own company was the last thing, she could handle. She was not good into friendships. The highest of emotiones where the evenings she spend with Trish. Watching some stupid movie and eating cheap chinese food. So Jessica just sighed. "Trish thought she would do me a favor by helping me, getting my shit together. So she hired some idiots to repair things in my flat.", she said and leaned back at the couch.   
"Thats nice of her. She seemes like a nice person."  
"Oh shut up Murdock. You don't know her. She is just worried that my life break down. Espescially after what happened in Midland Circle. It's just a desperate try, of something, which doesn't matter."  
Again she was too dramatic. Matt looked over to her.   
"You could stay here..I mean, until they are ready with their work."   
"Don't try. I don't need your help."   
"Calm down, it was just a kind offer of a friend."; Luke tried to fix the situation. He always tried since they met again. He was just the same like Trish and Malcom. Trying to make her life better. But that didn't work.  
"Well I am not good into this friendship thing, right?", she said.  
"It's ok.", Matt mentioned. Jessica just sighed and drank the rest of her glass. 

One hour later that whole drama and emotional thing paid off. Matts friends came after Claire called them. The blonde girl almost faint, while Foggy - that's the name of the other laywer, just laughed - interesting reaction. Jessica was pissed off, Luke reacted happy and relieved, but laughing? _Sure, this all could mentioned as a big bad joke.  
_ "Matt Murdock, you are just like a fake penny. No matter how often you are throwing away, you will always come back." - nailed it.   
"He is not the only one with this power.", Jessica said.   
"What do you mean?", Foggy asked her.   
"His girlfriends seems like the same." Matt looked down, while Foggy watched him out. The blonde girl was still just a bunch of emotion.   
"You mean Elektra? She is still alive?", he asked her. Matt nodded.   
"Yeah.. I do not remember everything very well. But somehow she managed our escape. And then she brought me to a monastery. I should recover and... I do not exactly what she was up to."  
"Suprise, suprise.", Jessica said sarcastically.  
"Why didn't you call?", the blonde girl suddendly said something. _Oh wow, she had a voice._  
"Karen I..."   
"No Matt. We all were traumatized. We thought you were dead.", she stood up from the chair, Luke offered her, when her legs seemed to break. "We thought we had loose you forever and you were alive. God, we even buried you.", she cried now.   
"There were reasons.."  
"The could not be one reason in this world, to excuse how you dealt with this situation Matt!", she almost screamed. Hell she really was upset...but who could blame her. She seemed to care a lot for him. And he just died... died as a matyre.   
"Foggy...I can not...I..."  
"It's okay.", Foggy said. "Should I bring you home?"   
"Yes please.", she said and took her jacket.  
"I will call you later."; Foggy said to Matt. He just nodded and cleared his throat. Both disappeared and let them alone.   
"Well, this went good.", Jessica said. Claire gave her this sight...this sight which should tell her to shut up.   
"I can not blame her. It seems like I have disappeared and let them suffer. I was just trying to the right thing."  
"See Murdock, that's your problem. You are always trying to do the best in your opinion. But you do not think about the people, who are around you. You do not think about their point of view. If its the best for them as well."  
"I do not like to actually. But I think Jessica is right with this Matt.", Claire admit. She said next to him. "You are not alone in this world. You could have called.", before his friends appeared in his place, Luke, Matt and Jessica told her everything. About Elektra and her personal conditions for him to stay in that place, they've found him. "You have friends.", she added. A sad smile appeared on his lips.   
"You said that, like it was that easy. To be honest I have no idea how this could work. I died...officially. I can not just return from the death."  
"Why not? You are not the first one." Now Matt gave her a glance. _No further sarcastic religious jokes...noticed.  
 _"We will find a way. We are not alone, we have Danny.", Luke said.  
"Could you...could you maybe give a bit time alone.", Matt asked now.   
"Of course.", Luke said and took his jacket.  
"I am glad you are back.", Claire said and kissed Matts cheak before she stood up and followed Luke outside.  
Jessica was about to collect her stuff and leave as well when Matt stood up.   
"I know I have no right to ask you this...but could you maybe stay?", he asked her. She raised her eyebrows. She had not expect something like that. Why did he exactly wanted her to stay? She was no nice company. At least she would never called her like one.   
"Uhm..sure.", she said and put her stuff back on the chair. "Why I?", she asked.  
"Because I do not pity, like Claire would gave me, and I do not need the happiness, Luke tried to show, but he is just angry like everyone. And I do not want to feel the guilt, I felt when Karen was in the room."   
"Well I will definitely give you pity, and joy you will not feel either when I am around."   
And that was the point when he smiled again.  _This damn stupid smile._ "And that is the point, while I want to have your company Jones.", he said. She rolled her eyes. "Well then...where is the whisky.", she asked, he laughed.

Some hours passed. They were talking about stupid things, like how the world moved on after his  _death._ That Danny was now playing the knight of Hell's kitchen, who tried to save  _his_ city. Like Matt asked him for. And she told him what happened to Misty, and she will work as an agent again, thanks to the medical help she got in Dannys hospital. Matt was happy to hear that. He was happy to know there were still justice in the world. That good people did not lose everything, that they were getting second chances. And that was the point why he was happy, that Jessica started to work as a PI again. She told him, that she opened her office again with the help of Malcom, who does some works for her, especially the phone work. She was now working on e client, who was thinking, that his employees are betraying him, above all stealing a lot of company founds. While she told him this, he recognized how much he missed his work as a lawyer. He was about telling her, that he would represent him legally after this, but then he noticed that he was actually dead. Would he still have his license?   
"While I am telling you this, I really should go on...", she said and wanted to stay up, but she felt back at the couch. After two bottles of whiskey even Jessica Jones felt something. Matt smirked.   
"You really think, that would be really good idea?", he asked.  
"Now, while you are asking this...I don't think so.", she said and looked back at him. "I should go home...ah yes, that's a site right now.", she laughed.   
"You could stay here.", he asked again.  
"I don't think that I want this Murdock.", she said. 

_You are thinking too much Jessica.  
  
_ "What did you said?", she asked again, her pulse was rising.   
"I didn't say anything.", he said confused.   
"Ok...ok.. I need to go.", she said . Suddendly she felt sober again. She took her stuff.   
"Jessica? Everything ok?", he asked and stood up as well.   
"Sure, sure. Just.. I have to go.", she said and left his flat.   
She was breathing heavly. This was  _his_ voice. She never heard him after she did what she did. She had the feeling she was finally free somehow. Never again breaking metro windows...but this seemed so real. She tried to push this feeling aside.  _He_ was dead. She killed him. She walked down the stairs, just to escape in the night, buying another bottle, just to clear her mind, or fell asleep in a bar, drunken, deafened. 

He had never seen Jessica like this. She was panic somehow. Her heartbeat had risen just in some minutes to a rythm, he had never noticed before to her. The way she acted. Like a victim who has seen their offender. When she walked down the flat, he heard her breath. It was like she had a panic attack. He wanted to walk after her, but in that moment, she walked away, like she always did, when there were emotions. He still had the need to follow her, to comfort her, but he was not Daredevil anymore. He had to put all this together again, before he could play the hero again. And he felt guilt for this, guilt he tried to avoid, when he offered her to stay. On the other hand...was this what she wanted? To be seen in a situation, when she was weak? Dumb asshole. Even if she wouldn't, as a friend, he had to look after her. And that's why he took his jacket and walked outside. He tried to catch her scent, and he didn't missed it. And yes, Jessica made it quiet easy. He would ever notice her smell. Now it was a mixture of her own, his whiskey and his own scent. He followed her through the streets, when he finally stood in front of a cheap bar.  _Predictable._ He walked in, it took just some seconds to catch her, right in front of the bar, the second seat. Next to her was a free one, which he used. She noticed him one second later.   
"Seriously?", she asked and emptied her glass, she ordered just some seconds before he entered the bar.  
"You didn't seem like I should left you alone."   
"But that was exactly what I wanted.", she said and made a gesture to the bartender, to get a second.  
"Two.", Matt added. She rolled her eyes.  
"You should stop with this."  
"This?", he asked.   
"Playing the hero."   
"Look Jessica, you didn't seemed ok, and even if you want to stay alone, I could not. I am your friend, and as a friend, I should care.", he said.  
"Care for what?", she said and had an aimless glance.   
"For comforting a friend, who just had a panic attack." She looked at him, looked into his eyes...even if she knew that had not the normal effect, he would feel it anyway.   
"This is..."  
"It's ok.", he said and took the glass, the bartender brought them. "Just take it as a dring session with a friend.", she took her glass as well. "We won't have to talk. You are just not alone right now.", she felt something strange, she never felt before. Like she wasn't alone, alone with all the feelings, the anger, the fear, the guilt...the panic. Somehow...she felt understood. So she just shook her had.   
"Damn emotions."   
"It's all about them.", he said and they drank. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are again. I struggle a bit with this point of the ff. My thoughts are in further situations, for example, when Jess and Matt are getting closer... or Elektra could return...  
> so I hope this chapters aren't that bad.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this is my first fanfic, after I've read so much of it, I had the desire to start one of my own. English isn't my mothertongue, but I rather prefer to write this in English. So please forgive me some little mistakes. With love <3


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